FRANK CHESTERFIELD IS A PLUMBER FROM CHERRY HILL, NEW JERSEY, AND ONE OF THE FEW SURVIVING BLOOD RELATIVES OF LORD CHESTERFIELD. HERE, FRANK WILL OFFER HIS OWN UNIQUE 21ST CENTURY TRANSLATION OF ONE OF “UNCLE CHETTY’S” FAMOUS QUOTES.
My cousin Stevie, who’s a tough guy but not tough enough to get himself out of the trouble he gets into now and then, once made the mistake of telling my Uncle Stu that he was going to join the Marines because he wanted to “kick some ass and take some names.” He also said fighting in a war “looked kinda fun.” He based these observations on years of playing video games, paintball and watching Fox News.
“You wanna know what war is like?” snorted my Uncle Stu. “I’ll tell you what war is like!!” I sat back with a cold one while Stu went on a very detailed 20-minute monologue about his 18 month tour as an infantry squad leader in Vietnam in ’68 and ’69. (He likes to point out that he got back just in time watch the Mets win the Series.)
Needless to say, by the time my Uncle Stu finished his story – and he would have gone on for another half hour if not for my Aunt Rhonda’s lasagna coming out of the oven – my cousin Stevie took back his plans to visit his local recruiter. It’s proof that knowledge acquired in the real world beats knowledge acquired in an arcade any day of the week.
