GOT A QUESTION FOR LORD CHESTERFIELD? NEED ADVICE ABOUT LOVE, LIFE OR WORK? ASK THE LORD BY SUBMITTING YOUR QUERY HERE. ALL E-MAILS WILL RECEIVE A PERSONAL RESPONSE, AND SOME MAY BE FEATURED HERE.
JIM C. FROM CARLISLE, PA WRITES: I hate my girlfriend’s cat. Is there a way to make it “go away?”
I shudder to think of the dark scenarios you are mulling over in your plan to make your fair lady’s feline “go away” but I shall entertain your inquiry nonetheless.
Women are, by nature, Machiavellians, which means that if she solves the mystery of her missing kitty and identifies you as the dastardly devil who made it disappear there will be no end to her wrath. The hellfire directed at you will be leave lasting physical and emotional scars and your life, as you know it, will end. In other words, do not make the cat “go away.”
Cats, like women, can be coexisted with if a man is willing to put forth the necessary effort to make the relationship work. You are willing to make an effort, are you not? Otherwise, you might consider adopting a dog… a very large, hungry, cat-hating dog.
Here kitty kitty,
